Let me preface this by saying that this article is not meant to be a complaint. We are a beautiful nation and a beautiful community. I want to share some personal thoughts, hoping they will be accepted with open minds—not as criticism, but as a way to reflect on how we can and should live properly as Hashem’s children.

As we near the end of the 9 Days, I wonder if we truly understand that we are in a week of mourning for the Bais Hamikdash, which we have not yet earned back.

I see advertisements for fancy 9 Days menus.
I see posts about gourmet dairy supper options that could rival a melave malka of the highest caliber.

I see people going out for family dinners to explore dairy cuisines.

And I am confused. This is not Shavuos we are celebrating.

This is a week where we abstain from gourmet meat meals because we are mourning. We are in pain—together with Avinu Shebashamayim, and together with those suffering across the world from the deepest levels of sorrow.

How can we indulge in gourmet dining while we have no Bais Hamikdash, in a week meant to reflect that loss as if we are in the midst of shiva?

How will our children understand that we are mourning if we are celebrating with fancy fish poppers and elaborate pareve-to-dairy menus?

No, I don’t starve my children or force them to eat kale and bland potatoes all week.

But our meals this week consisted of bagels, fish sticks, pizza from the freezer, scrambled eggs, pancakes, simply prepared frozen tilapia/salmon, and soups.

Some kids opted for noodle soups and sandwiches if they didn’t like what was served. My husband had some extra healthy and filling options prepared for him.

Simple. No excitement. No fanfare. And certainly no gourmet here.

My kids asked if we could go out to eat one night. They even wanted to celebrate an occasion. I told them that I didn’t feel it was the appropriate time for celebration during the 9 Days, but that after Tisha B’Av—if Mashiach hasn’t come—we could celebrate. It’s just not appropriate for now.

Yes, I got some complaints and grumbles, but one thing is for sure: they got the message loud and clear that we are in the 9 Days. And that this is not the same level of happiness and relaxation that we experience on a typical sunny summer day.

And then I am confronted with advertisements for fancy 9 Days menus, and I feel sad.

Not a jealous kind of sad, but a sadness that we seem to be missing the point. The point that we still have the 9 Days to mourn this year because it means we didn’t earn Mashiach last year. And that we seem too eager to indulge, to fress, and to push away the pain of meaningfulness in our Yiddishkeit. We forget why we are here. We forget what Hashem wants from us, and it’s disheartening. It makes me despair if we will ever break out of a galus that we seem not to care to leave, because we have all our gashmiyus at our fingertips.

We say we want Mashiach now, and “Ani Maamin”… but we don’t live that talk!

Maybe I’m just sensitive.

But it hurts.

And I wonder if anyone else shares this feeling. I wonder if anyone else even thinks about this when they see 9 Days menus. And if it bothers them too.

And if it hasn’t until now, does this viewpoint make you think about it? I hope so. May we truly see Mashiach in a few days.

Author can be reached at [email protected].